Even though about five people read my blog, I wanted to post this here anyway (I have also submitted it directly to Cox). Perhaps somebody will do a web search on “should I use Cox Communications for my TV/internet/phone provider?” and they will get some helpful information and learn to go with someone else who might actually be responsive to their needs as a customer.
That, my friends, is the smell of sweet, sweet, victory.
Published Date: November 13th, 2008Category: Baseball, Baseball Jinx |
My crushing disappointment and anguish has been temporarily counteracted by the recent presidential election, so I thought I’d take this time to write a little entry about the World Series.
Game Seven of the ALCS was a weird experience, to say the least. Erin and Danielle were pretty damn gracious about conceding the series pretty early, whereas late into the game I was still arguing that the Rays were going to lose. And unlike them, I was imagining that I was going to be pretty damn bitter and cranky about it for weeks. And then, unbelievably enough, the Rays actually WON and I was able to feel very sympathetic about their pain. Trying not to come across as gloating is MUCH more fun than trying not to irrationally yell at people for things over which they have no control.
Let me tell you how gracious Danielle was. The next morning, when I was in the most flaily of my excitement, and had started saying I might fly to Florida for the WS Game Two, she did not say, “That is a ridiculous idea.” No, she said, “Maybe I’ll come.” (I believe my reaction was pretty much stunned disbelief. IN A GOOD WAY.)
And so, that is how we found ourselves headed to Florida three days after the Rays won the Pennant. Like LUNATICS.
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I have gotten over being drunk zen and am now mired in grouchiness. Nine outs away, seven run lead, and the Devil Rays bullpen decides to show up. It was like I was having flashbacks of last season and, let me tell you, I DID NOT LIKE IT. I am now embracing conspiracy theories where the Rays wanted to win so I could record it on my TiVo*, or Joe Maddon wanted to win in front of the home fans for the celebration squee, or that in the middle of the seventh SOMEBODY went to sleep.
But the truth is that the bullpen sucked and lost the game, but we still have two more chances to win one game. And maybe, just maybe, if I repeat that over and over to myself I will calm down and stop overreacting.
Oh, I should note that I am upset about the loss, but not about to jump out a window or anything. Again: TWO MORE CHANCES. AT HOME. So there is no reason to keep calling or sending me emails, people. I’m not going to shoot myself in the head or something.
After all, it’s just a game.
HAHAHAHAHAHARIGHT.
* Because I was not home, and I will not set the game to record, as that would be jinxy, but after the game is over when I am actually there, I can press record so as to get the previous half hour through the end. This is what I did with Jon Lester’s no-no.
That’s alright. I have more scotch.
Published Date: October 15th, 2008Category: Baseball, Silliness |
So, tomorrow night’s Red Sox/Rays game will have everyone nervous. On one hand, you have the Red Sox facing elimination. On the other hand, you have Rays fans who know that the Red Sox *enjoy* living on the edge like that. And I’m pretty sure that means everyone will be driven to drink.
And so I present to you:
Because You Will Be in the Hospital
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“I kept hearing how we weren’t going to win this game,” Rays’ pitcher Matt Garza said. “This is Fenway. We’ve won two games here all year. If I were a fan, I probably would have bet on the Red Sox, too. It kind of left us with a chip on our shoulders. How many times do we have to prove to people that we can play?“
Buck Martinez: We forget that the Rays won the AL East.
SOME OF US REMEMBER THAT, JERKFACE.
And he brought the nightmare world with him. Thanks a bunch, Billy.
Published Date: October 10th, 2008Category: Baseball |
So, in a few short hours the ALCS will begin. Everybody keeps telling me this must be a dream come true for me, because either way, I win!
NO! It is a NIGHTMARE! Either way I LOSE! WOE!
I am, of course, cheering solidly for the Rays. I don’t want the Red Sox to be humiliated*, so I hope we play some really good, really close games**, and that the Rays go on to the World Series.
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Things I Did Not Do on My Birthday
1. Eat cake.
2. Have a party.
3. Unwrap a present (although Cath did get me an awesome Rays pennant)
4. Blow out candles
Things I Did Do on My Birthday
1. Fly to Florida
2. See the first pitch in Rays postseason history
3. Cheer my little heart out
4. Take a crapload of pictures
5. Ring my cowbell so hard it broke
6. See the first WIN in Rays postseason history
Our friendship may not make it till October.
Published Date: September 16th, 2008Category: Baseball, Silliness |
Danielle: Have a good night!
Me: [long pause] …Get lots of work done!
Danielle: HEY!! Fine. Have a productive night that doesn’t involve baseball then.
Me: Okay. That I can live with. You too!
Danielle: gosoxokaybye!
Me: Goodnight, bitchface!
Now I’m going to go watch and see how far into this game JoshBECKETT can take a nono. *duck*
I am taking a little break from wailing about what a stupid idea it was to not have a backup plan in place when your starter is clearly worried about the destruction in his hometown from the hurricane (and you cannot convince me otherwise, because the other option is that he sucks like a tick). Instead I am going to share a little story.
I was walking into my building from my car, and two guys from the store were sitting outside. There is Store!Guy, who is a Yankees fan, but who is also supernice to me, so I forgive him for that. And then there is Deli!Guy, who I don’t know as well.
Store!Guy: You must be in seventh heaven right about now!
Deli!Guy: How come?
Store!Guy: Her Tampa Bay Rays are [sic] going to [somewhere so jinxtastic I will not even *rethinkg* it please don't listen to him, baseballgods].
Deli!Guy: You’re a TAMPA BAY RAYS FAN??!?!?!?
I cannot really convey the tone of voice, though I tried with the caps and the bold and the italics and the excessively ungrammatical punctuation. Imagine, if you will, the way that someone might say, “You TiVo REBA?!?!?!???” or perhaps, “You KILLED A PUPPY?!?!?!” THAT was his level of horror that I might actually be a Rays fan living in Virginia.
I’m not sure which is more irritating: that reaction, or the time that Danielle and I went to Camden Yards dressed in Rays gear, and an Os fan looked at us, totally confused, and said, “I didn’t know you people existed.”
Well, America, we do! And we have the really annoying cowbells to prove it!