Spinsterblog

If you brought JD Drew, Jason Bay, and Jed Lowrie into a room, put them in a lineup in front of me, and held a gun to my head, I couldn’t tell them apart. I could maybe–MAYBE–pick out Jed Lowrie with his nose that looks like it belongs to a yacht-owner and not a baseball player. If the light was right and it made it actually possibly to discern that JD Drew had facial hair, I might be able to pick him out, but, let’s face it, generally it’s easier to see the hair on MY face, because JD Drew’s hair is as bland as the rest of him. (I do not mean that as an insult, but it probably is.)

During last night’s game, the three clones were all batting in a row in the lineup, thereby making me more confused than usual. I tried telling them apart by how they batted, but that Jed Lowrie is a crafty switch-hitter, so that did me no good. Finally I announced to Danielle that I was calling them all “Jason Drew.” Yes, even that Lowrie kid. Their names all start with “J” and they are all fair-haired and boring (and, I’m sure, supernice), and I do not have the energy to bother with a mnemonic to remember their names.

So from henceforth I will call them all Jason Drew and they will like it. Especially, I think, JD, as it means I will stop calling him “Nancy.”

(Erin? This one is all for you.)

This morning I was watching SportsCenter on ESPN, much to the annoyance of everyone else around me. But when you’re visiting The Land of Dial-Up and cannot check the score online, there are only so many ways to find out the score, and it generally involves listening to the newest episode of The Brett Favre Saga and a bunch of Olympics scores I do not care about.

So, I was waiting for the story on last night’s Rays game, right? The teaser was all about whether the Rays would run into a speedbump in the West Coast, and whether the Yankees would gain some ground. Umm, okay. I guess if the Rays were to lose, and the Yankees were to win, NY would have gained a game, but…they still would have been in third place.

The story finally came on, and they did they little extra innings drama story, and all was good until they mention that the Rays were able to hold on to a seven and a half game lead over the Yankees. Umm, what? WHO CARES what the lead over the Yankees is? They are not in second place in the division. The Rays are battling the Red Sox for the Division. This is like talking about whether Barack Obama will be able to hold on to his 45% approval rating lead over Ralph Nader.

Sometimes–and I know this is a shocker–sometimes the Yankees are not the story.

Today is a great day for me, Rays-wise (Red Sox, SHAPE UP, YOU JERKS.). Rocco Baldelli had his first ML at-bat since, like, 1824. The Rays were in first place for the 55th day this season, when they have only been in first eighteen days TOTAL in franchise history.
And the Rays won 71 games for the first time ever. I’m so proud.

GO SUNBEAMS!

4:27 PM: Danielle links me to a Kevin Youkilis MacFarlane figurine

4:57 PM: I suggest someone buy it and keep it until Youk retires. I do not come out and say it, but the clear meaning is that I want to buy it for myself.

First inning (roughly 8:30): Kevin Youkilis is hit by a pitch and leaves the game with a bone bruise. He is day to day.

And, actually, this reminds me that I hear Julio Lugo is running again and starting to improve.

I did something today I have never been able to do.

I wore my Rays cap* WITHOUT SHAME!!!

* To be fair, it is a Devil Rays cap, because I am old school. You know, as old school as a Rays fan can be.

We have reached that time again—when I cannot talk to any Red Sox fans because I get annoyed with them (and they with me). So I’m going to pretend there is no Rays/Sox series happening in Fenway this week. I’m ignoring the fact that it is JUNE and my Rays are in first place. Quite frankly, I am still waiting for the other shoe to drop, as can be seen by the way I take a screencap of the standings Every. Single. Day. In case it is the Rays last day in first place. (Yes, I am aware that when they are one and a half game ahead, they can only lose one game in the standings at a time, but I am clearly irrational.)

So, ignoring the Showdown of the Century in Boston this week, I feel it is time for yet another name change for the Tampa Bay Rays.

I know, I know. You are saying to yourself, “Why would they change their name yet again, now that they have finally started winning by casting Satan out of the name?”
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When people find out I am a baseball fan, they ask me which team I follow. Usually what I say is that since I am from the Tampa area, I am a Rays fan, but since I also like to have a team that has a chance at winning, I am also a Red Sox fan. And, yes, as I have mentioned before, I am generally very conflicted and grouchy when these two teams play each other.

I realize that it is only the middle of May, but sooner or later I’m going to have to ask myself, “At what point do I start cheering exclusively for the Rays because THEY have a chance to win?”

All of this has happened before, and all of this will happen again.

Julio Lugo is my favorite player.

A move to honor the life of Matthew Beaudoin, late Red Sox fan