Spinsterblog

Kevin Millar has a suggestion: 

If something happens behind the plate, a lot of the time, they don’t know who’s ever caught or who likes to catch. I love it. Put me in there.

Dude.  If the Orioles let Kevin Millar catch I would buy SEASON TICKETS because that is comedy gold. And since they don’t have a shot at the division anyway, why the hell not?

Better yet, why not have a game every year where the players swap positions? They could play it on April 1st, in honor of April Fool’s Day, since that’s during Spring Training and doesn’t count anyway!

It would be amazing! First of all, the Orioles would have Kevin Millar catching. Then the Red Sox could have David Ortiz pitch. And tell me you don’t want to see Jason Varitek in the outfield or Manny…well, any infield position that Manny’s going to play is going to be funny.

You know, they say that one of the reasons that they do interleague play is so that the fans can see the pitchers bat. And while that is, in fact, amusing as hell, interleague play generally sucks.  I’m telling you, Crazy Position Swap Day would have more of a draw–not just because the name sounds vaguely dirty, but because it would be hysterical to watch.

So, I’m in beautiful Chincoteague, Virginia today, where I hear there are ponies.  I’ve never seen any, but there are all kinds of geese and ducks and deer in my way.

And I mean literally in my way.  

Tonight I was driving back to the hotel after dinner and I had to stop my car because there were four ducks in my path and I didn’t want to run them over. Honking my horn didn’t motivate them to move and inching my car toward them didn’t help either.  You know why?  Because they were having DUCK SEX! 

That’s right — they were mating and didn’t want to be interrupted.

To make things even more disturbing, two of the ducks were mating and the other two were watching.  

I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of crazy web searches are going to show up in my referral logs now.  This is why I should only write about baseball. 

Someday, my mother’s going to come to this blog and ask me, “Why don’t you ever write about yourself?  Why are you always posting about baseball?”  (Interestingly enough, when my mother nags in my head it comes with a New York accent, in spite of the fact that my mother’s from Maryland.)

Of course, in order for that to happen Mom has to:
1) Sign onto the Internet — an event which happens roughly every eight to ten weeks — and,
2) Remember where my blog lives. 

So I feel pretty secure in not posting anything interesting about myself, except for the fact that I know that one day I’ll be washing my dishes and I’ll get a phone call asking about the lack of non-baseball posts. And then she’ll complain that I made her sound like a shrew, even though she isn’t.

You know what?  Scratch all this. Let’s start over.

My mother is a kind and wonderful woman and she would never try to guilt me or nag me. And since I’m sure that one day she will come here to read all of my thoughts and a variety of meaningless subjects, perhaps I should branch out and discuss something that isn’t baseball.

Try not to faint. Read more…

I have a younger cousin who lives not far from me. We’ve always been kinda bond-y because we’re the only girl cousins on my mother’s side. Recently she informed me that she wanted to be a Red Sox fan.

Oh, the pride I felt!

Now, I’m pretty new to this whole baseball thing, but I’ve come pretty damn far in the past couple years. Watching my cousin H is a blast from the past, because she’s going through all of the phases I went through when I first started following baseball.

Read more…

Yesterday, as I was leaving work, I mentioned that I was scurrying off to watch the Canada/USA game of the World Baseball Classic and my friend K’s response to this was, “Do they even play baseball in Canada?” And then we had a little chuckle–oh, those crazy Canadians, thinking they’re any match for the US, where baseball was born! HA!

Okay, so who’s laughing now? Read more…

Take a look at this picture:

 

Aww! How can you not miss Kevin Millar?

I’m glad that if he had to leave, he at least went to the Orioles so I can see him often. However, I don’t actually pay any attention to the Orioles, so I’ve still been missing him quite a bit. Just watching the NESN clip on the Globe website got me all nostalgic for the Kevin Millar of old.

“Don’t let us win tonight!”

Note to self: Even though it’s spring training, don’t ever say the following:

Hey, it’s the top of the fourth and my Devil Rays are totally kicking the Red Sox’ ass.

A five-run lead in the fourth is not nearly substantial enough for the Hapless Devil Rays.

Actually, we’re starting over with no slate. 

Well, I moved webhosts and there was an issue with my database export and I couldn’t import it to this new installation of Wordpress. Quite frankly, I didn’t try very hard since there were only a handful of entries on the old site.  This way I can start over fresh!

Of course, starting over fresh would be easier if I had anything to say.

Read more…