Spinsterblog

Baseball is turning me into a giant freak. Last night I had this dream where I was pinch-running for the Boston Red Sox. Yes, that’s right.

Even in the dream, this seemed unusual to me. So my dreamself tried to figure out why. In case you’re wondering, it wasn’t because the last time I played baseball was fifth grade PE class. It wasn’t that it was the Red Sox, who, last I checked, hadn’t drafted or traded for me. I also didn’t think it was weird because I run slower than Mike Lowell when his ankle’s bothering him.

No, I decided it was odd because I was the only woman on the field.

The irony, of course, is that if things get much worse, Terry Francona may have to resort to putting me in as a pinch runner. *sigh*

I’m sending many good thoughts in the direction of Boston and David Ortiz.

I always feel that it’s the little things that can make or break your everyday. Obviously if you have some sort of big excitement or drama, that’s going to color whether your day is fabulous or a disaster, but unless you live in Port Charles, I doubt those big events happen every day. (Well, it could be argued that even in Port Charles they only happen on Mondays and Fridays, but let’s move on.)

Read more…

The biting suckmonkey should be in the bullpen, but not as a therapy tool–as a relief pitcher.

I went to the movies with Sara yesterday (Sidenote: We went to see Step Up, because I love me a cheesy dance movie. Oh, the mocking potential!) and while we were driving home, she asked if I’d updated my “blog-thingy” lately. It’s very sweet of her to ask, considering she couldn’t possibly care less about baseball and yet she continues to read anyway.

However, today’s entry is about baseball and monkeys, so Sara, you may want to skip this one.

Read more…

If Mel Ruled the World of Baseball

1. They would no longer be called “hits.”
Seriously, they HIT the ball to fly out, so call it something else, please.  No, I don’t have any suggestions that sound better, but if I have all this theoretical power to change all the rules, surely I have enough power to delegate that responsibility to someone with more imagination.

2. Kevin Youkilis would have to wear his socks up.
Because I can’t believe he *doesn’t*.

3. If you’re in the stands, on your cell phone, and waving at the camera, you’ll get kicked out of the game.
OMG, YOU’RE ON TV!1!!!11!! Nobody cares. Sit down and stop distracting me. Also, if your sign is spelled wrong or grammatically incorrect, you have to give up your seat and sit in an obstructed view seat.

4. Pitchers would earn RBIs.
Not because they’re playing for a National League team, but because they walked in a run or let a run score on an error that they made.

5. If there’s no one on base and you hit a long fly ball, but are able to reach first before it’s caught, you’re safe.
Think how fast we’d see Manny running to first!

6. The Boston media would no longer be able to choose illogical scapegoats for Red Sox losses.
For example, today’s headlines would be all about Mike Timlin giving up a leadoff walk and then letting him score.  There would not be articles about Wily Mo (although he does look like ME out there fumbling around in right field), since the runner would have scored EVEN IF HE’D CAUGHT THE BALL. So back off of him and go after Timlin, who also trashed his teammates by saying they’re not hitting the ball right now. Yeah, like when they scored 11 runs on Sunday, Timlin. Like that. Jerkface.  

I went with Jericho and Sarah to a Mets/gNats game this weekend.  I will spare you my diatribe on how RFK Stadium is a piece of crap stadium in which to see a ballgame. You’re welcome.

However, I will not spare you my rant on the Mets fans in front of us at the game.

Read more…

“Also, I’ve decided that when Wells comes back we should put Snyder in our bullpen because wow would he be awesome in a situation where he doesn’t have a fifth inning wall to hit.”
–Me, in an email to Danielle on Friday 28 July

You know, everybody is going on and on about David Ortiz’ heroics in Monday night’s game, but David Ortiz is superman–who’s surprised? Can we talk about Kyle Snyder?  Can we stop talking about his pitching performance as a footnote?  “David Ortiz is amazing! David Wells sucked! And, oh yeah, Kyle Snyder pitched.”

Kyle Snyder pitched four and a third innings of one hit relief.  The guy gave up his start and scampered out to the bullpen, happy to help in any way. Without Snyder’s pitching on Monday, holding back the Indians batters, not only do we stretch our bullpen farther than it already is, but we don’t win the game. We end up with David Ortiz hitting that home run, only to have battled back frustratingly close–but not close enough. And you know me, I love the underdog. So when a pitcher that *Kansas City* didn’t even want is able to be integral in winning games, I think he should be much more than a sidenote in the Sox blogs.

This is for you, Snyder:

(Hmm, I think Kyle Snyder needs a nickname. Tito calls him “Snydes,” but that is horrible. Suggestions, anyone?)

So, now that I’ve talked about the important stuff, I wanted to rant about David Wells.  Only probably not in the way you’re expecting.

Read more…