Spinsterblog

It’s like they heard my plea. And then laughed at it, ignored it, and took it to another level.

Colon to be examined tomorrow

So. Bartolo Colon.

I’m not even going to rant about all the articles calling him fat, although you know I want to. Here is my request–no, my PLEA to sportswriters everywhere: Please, oh, please can we use his full name in headlines?

I know what you’re thinking: “But, Mel, why are you acting like a twelve-year-old boy?” Because I am. Because, I’m sorry, but pretty much no matter what verb you put after the name “Colon,” you are stuck with a silly headline. Whether it’s “Colon feels strong” or “Colon has good outing”–COME ON. I’m not much for the scatalogical humor, but how am I NOT supposed to snicker like my brother when I see “Thumbs-up on Colon” leading an article?

Also, please stop calling him fat. Everybody knows he is. We don’t need it beat into our heads.