Spinsterblog

If you brought JD Drew, Jason Bay, and Jed Lowrie into a room, put them in a lineup in front of me, and held a gun to my head, I couldn’t tell them apart. I could maybe–MAYBE–pick out Jed Lowrie with his nose that looks like it belongs to a yacht-owner and not a baseball player. If the light was right and it made it actually possibly to discern that JD Drew had facial hair, I might be able to pick him out, but, let’s face it, generally it’s easier to see the hair on MY face, because JD Drew’s hair is as bland as the rest of him. (I do not mean that as an insult, but it probably is.)

During last night’s game, the three clones were all batting in a row in the lineup, thereby making me more confused than usual. I tried telling them apart by how they batted, but that Jed Lowrie is a crafty switch-hitter, so that did me no good. Finally I announced to Danielle that I was calling them all “Jason Drew.” Yes, even that Lowrie kid. Their names all start with “J” and they are all fair-haired and boring (and, I’m sure, supernice), and I do not have the energy to bother with a mnemonic to remember their names.

So from henceforth I will call them all Jason Drew and they will like it. Especially, I think, JD, as it means I will stop calling him “Nancy.”

(Erin? This one is all for you.)

This morning I was watching SportsCenter on ESPN, much to the annoyance of everyone else around me. But when you’re visiting The Land of Dial-Up and cannot check the score online, there are only so many ways to find out the score, and it generally involves listening to the newest episode of The Brett Favre Saga and a bunch of Olympics scores I do not care about.

So, I was waiting for the story on last night’s Rays game, right? The teaser was all about whether the Rays would run into a speedbump in the West Coast, and whether the Yankees would gain some ground. Umm, okay. I guess if the Rays were to lose, and the Yankees were to win, NY would have gained a game, but…they still would have been in third place.

The story finally came on, and they did they little extra innings drama story, and all was good until they mention that the Rays were able to hold on to a seven and a half game lead over the Yankees. Umm, what? WHO CARES what the lead over the Yankees is? They are not in second place in the division. The Rays are battling the Red Sox for the Division. This is like talking about whether Barack Obama will be able to hold on to his 45% approval rating lead over Ralph Nader.

Sometimes–and I know this is a shocker–sometimes the Yankees are not the story.

Today is a great day for me, Rays-wise (Red Sox, SHAPE UP, YOU JERKS.). Rocco Baldelli had his first ML at-bat since, like, 1824. The Rays were in first place for the 55th day this season, when they have only been in first eighteen days TOTAL in franchise history.
And the Rays won 71 games for the first time ever. I’m so proud.

GO SUNBEAMS!

4:27 PM: Danielle links me to a Kevin Youkilis MacFarlane figurine

4:57 PM: I suggest someone buy it and keep it until Youk retires. I do not come out and say it, but the clear meaning is that I want to buy it for myself.

First inning (roughly 8:30): Kevin Youkilis is hit by a pitch and leaves the game with a bone bruise. He is day to day.

And, actually, this reminds me that I hear Julio Lugo is running again and starting to improve.