Spinsterblog

I have gotten over being drunk zen and am now mired in grouchiness. Nine outs away, seven run lead, and the Devil Rays bullpen decides to show up. It was like I was having flashbacks of last season and, let me tell you, I DID NOT LIKE IT. I am now embracing conspiracy theories where the Rays wanted to win so I could record it on my TiVo*, or Joe Maddon wanted to win in front of the home fans for the celebration squee, or that in the middle of the seventh SOMEBODY went to sleep.

But the truth is that the bullpen sucked and lost the game, but we still have two more chances to win one game. And maybe, just maybe, if I repeat that over and over to myself I will calm down and stop overreacting.

Oh, I should note that I am upset about the loss, but not about to jump out a window or anything. Again: TWO MORE CHANCES. AT HOME. So there is no reason to keep calling or sending me emails, people. I’m not going to shoot myself in the head or something.

After all, it’s just a game.

HAHAHAHAHAHARIGHT.

* Because I was not home, and I will not set the game to record, as that would be jinxy, but after the game is over when I am actually there, I can press record so as to get the previous half hour through the end. This is what I did with Jon Lester’s no-no.

So, tomorrow night’s Red Sox/Rays game will have everyone nervous. On one hand, you have the Red Sox facing elimination. On the other hand, you have Rays fans who know that the Red Sox *enjoy* living on the edge like that. And I’m pretty sure that means everyone will be driven to drink.

And so I present to you:

“I kept hearing how we weren’t going to win this game,” Rays’ pitcher Matt Garza said. “This is Fenway. We’ve won two games here all year. If I were a fan, I probably would have bet on the Red Sox, too. It kind of left us with a chip on our shoulders. How many times do we have to prove to people that we can play?“

Buck Martinez: We forget that the Rays won the AL East.

SOME OF US REMEMBER THAT, JERKFACE.

So, in a few short hours the ALCS will begin. Everybody keeps telling me this must be a dream come true for me, because either way, I win!

NO! It is a NIGHTMARE! Either way I LOSE! WOE!

I am, of course, cheering solidly for the Rays. I don’t want the Red Sox to be humiliated*, so I hope we play some really good, really close games**, and that the Rays go on to the World Series.
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Things I Did Not Do on My Birthday
1. Eat cake.
2. Have a party.
3. Unwrap a present (although Cath did get me an awesome Rays pennant)
4. Blow out candles

Things I Did Do on My Birthday
1. Fly to Florida
2. See the first pitch in Rays postseason history
3. Cheer my little heart out
4. Take a crapload of pictures
5. Ring my cowbell so hard it broke
6. See the first WIN in Rays postseason history